When one door opens...

Another door breaks. Well, mine does.

I’m leaving work and a friend asks to get a lift to the train station which is just around the corner so in he gets and off we go. About a minute later, he turns around to me and says “Is this door meant to close?”

Joking aside, the question is obviously both idiotic and also alarming. No friend, my passenger door is constantly open and when I drive around I just hope and hope and hope that it doesn’t swing open and decapitate a badger. OBVIOUSLY it’s meant to close.

Anyway, in my state of alarm I say, “yes, it’s meant to close” and continue driving as he holds it shut. We aren’t going fast and the train station is just around the corner where I can stop and hopefully fix the door. So, I pull the car over and go around to the passenger door at which point my friend needs to run for a train. The door won’t catch, it won’t shut, it just bounces off the door frame and hangs there uselessly like Gemma Collins gym leggings. I’m drawn a blank, and also stuck because solo, I can’t drive and hold the passenger door shut at the same time.

17.00

Low and behold, my friend comes back from the station because his train is cancelled and craftily uses my phone charger cable to tie the door handle to the underside of the passenger seat.

17.52

There’s a Kwik-Fit around the corner so I carefully, but frantically drive to it and ask if they can fix it. They’re closing up when I get there and when I walk over to them without even closing the driver door a man comes over to scope out the issue. The trouble is the knot tying the cable to the door is so tight that I can’t get it off and it takes me a good 45 seconds to detach the door from the underside of the seat while the mechanic stands there watching me through the window. It’s quite awkward.

Anyway, he can’t fix it which is super convenient. So off I go to buy myself some bungee chords from B&Q.

18.15

I arrive at B&Q and I’m alive! And my passenger door hasn’t randomly flown off a la James Bond! I buy some multi-coloured bungee chords (stylish) and head back to my car to try to temporarily rectify the issue.

19.00

I’m home, I’m pissed off, and I’m wondering why chocolate is so expensive. Silver lining is that I’ve managed to sort of fix my door until a mechanic can take a look at it. Hooray! I’m so handy and thrifty and who needs a man anyway am I right ladies?!

The moral of this story is don’t give people lifts because even though you’re doing a good thing your car door will break and you will most likely cry.