Short and Sweet

Pardon the pun, but this post is about an incident I had recently with a hard boiled sweetie. After a long day of working at an event, one of the rooms being used for the event is ready to be broken down and packed away. The people who had previously been using the room have gone upstairs to listen to a final speech given by the organiser. In their haste to leave the room (the event is running slightly behind) they’ve left their wee bowls of sweets lying around along with their presentation boards and cups of tea and coffee.

Whilst tidying everything away and piling up the presentation boards ready for people to collect them afterwards, I decide to stealthily take what I assumed was a chocolate lime. For those who aren’t familiar with a chocolate lime it’s a green hard boiled lime flavoured sweetie with a hard chocolate centre. Delicious right?! Who would have been able to resist.

Unfortunately, after putting the whole sweetie in my mouth I’ve realised that it is not in fact a chocolate lime. I actually don’t know what it is but it’s already in my mouth so I stay committed and just go with it. After a while, I decide I’m not a huge fan of the taste so in my hurry to finish it I start to chew. Big mistake. Huge.

This sweetie isn’t just hard boiled, it’s rock boiled. It’s like chewing concrete. Except worse because it’s both hard and sticky. My back left teeth are completely stuck together. I am genuinely unable to get them apart. As a result, I can’t speak and I’m starting to sweat.

Am I going to lose my back teeth? If I ever get them pried apart will they still be attached to my gums or will they simply come away with the sweetie? My eyes are wide. I’m starting to panic. Is it going to be painful? I can’t believe this is happening.

“How did your back teeth fall out Rachel?” asks the dentist.

“Well Mr Dentist, I ate what I thought was a chocolate lime but turned out to be a mystery sweetie and despite the fact I am 23 years old I bit into it too soon and proceeded to damage my teeth beyond repair.”

Okay, I’m back in the room. My teeth are still stuck together…maybe if I take a drink of water? Nope, that has only made the sweetie stickier.

The worst has just happened. Someone looking for their presentation board has ventured downstairs and asked me where it is. I literally can’t speak properly, one side of my mouth is unable to open so I have to sort of mumble out of the corner. She is staring at me. She probably thinks I’m having a stroke. Maybe I should wave both of my arms about to show her that medically I’m fine.

Reconsidered the arm waving. Probably for the best. I’ve managed to sort of guide the woman towards what she’s after and then run away. This has been a dreadful 3 minutes.

Okay, with great difficulty and a genuine belief that my back teeth were about to be pulled from their sockets I’ve managed to ease my jaw open and pick the sweetie out of my molars. I am so relieved. I can’t stop telling people about how scared I was. Everyone thinks I’m being dramatic but for the love of god that was horrifying and humiliating.

I guess what we can all gather from this specific story is not to steal other people’s sweeties. Lesson learned.